Guest Post by Sue Richter
I’m an author and travel writer and have been in a relationship for 14 years. We both frequently travel for work, most of the time separately.
It seems that any relationship, whether an intimate relationship or work, revolves around two factors: trust and communication. Any relationship worth its weight needs to have both of these qualities intertwined or there are going to be breakdowns.
I recently wrote the book, ‘A Guide to Becoming the 60-Second Lover,’ because I witnessed many of my friends and colleagues having communication issues. Of course, I had my share of communication breakdowns earlier in life and still find myself learning better methods to communicate my desires.
I often wondered if there was a manual to help me, and my friends, master the art of love through better communication. Oh yes, I have friends that have written manuals and many others that have read books on how to improve your love life… but they all seemed so long and so much work. Wasn’t there a condensed version, a cliff note version?
I couldn’t find what I wanted so I created my own cliff notes for love. I began jotting down quick and thoughtful ways to connect with my lover in a fun and exciting way, whether I was home or on the road. Most of the ideas took 60 seconds or less to perform, which is where the name came from.
In our fast paced world we need to find easy and fun solutions to connect with our lovers. In my relationship either my husband or I are on the road. If we’re not on the road then we’re working 12-14 hours a day. We needed to get focused and take time for our love life.
Here are some examples for rekindling your love:
- Call and make a date. When you make the call don’t talk about anything else, just make the date. Arrange to meet up at your favorite restaurant, bar, tennis club or even the backyard. If you’re out of town set the date after your return.
- Texting. Convey how much you appreciate your mates thoughtfulness. A nice text, out of the blue, will put a smile on anyone’s face. Being appreciative is respectful and loving.
- Massage. If you’re together, take 60 seconds and give your mate a temple massage. Don’t say anything, just give of your time. An unselfish act never goes unnoticed.
One of the most crucial concepts of loving communication is to keep your special moments singular. Multi-tasking while trying to say ‘I love you’ is not effective. Be in the moment, even if it is for only a couple minutes.
Stay on point with the topic, don’t stray to chores, the daily grind, etc. Keep the communication light and fun. Sometimes, remembering the initial phase of our relationship will bring back ideas of how to connect in a fun and loving way. If you want to shoot the breeze about the day and the daily grind do it in a separate communication.
Remember when you first feel in love? There was an element of mystery. I’ve got to say, my experience has shown that men love mystery in a woman. Don’t get this confused with obscurity. One time when I picked up my husband at the airport I had my nightgown underneath my coat. When we were exiting the airport I showed him the top of my nighty. Boy did he love that mystery! He never knows what to expect from me, and that is the mystery.
Interested in more 60 Second Lover tips from Sue? Get her book at www.serapublishing.com.
And for great tips on finding a relationship when you’re on the road, read Finding a Relationship When You Frequently Travel.